Eggshell Green

Public Bus Personalities

The Neutral

Carries no disadvantageous characteristics and does not have adverse affects on others.

The Holder Upper Type I

Always unorganised when paying for their fare, and holds others up in the process. Usually blocks the entrance while they fumble.

The Holder Upper Type II

Slow moving and often has other priorities, such as getting coffee, ahead of getting to the bus stop in time. Causes others to roll their eyes or give secret evils when the bus makes an extra stop (or an extra long stop) to wait for them.

The Glue Foot

This type refuses to move down the aisle when the bus is filling up and stands firm in oblivion.

The Glue Butt

This type won’t get off their seat to let others out. Favours the “swivel” move but dislikes being whacked in the face with a bag when the other person struggles to pass.

The Raven

… all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe.

Quoth the Raven "Eat my shorts!" (A scene from The Simpsons - Treehouse of Horror)

The Raven type habitually taps with their finger or foot and slowly drives others insane.

The Cliff Hanger

A loner who prefers the outside edge of the seat. Does not like company but provides others with a sense of satisifaction when the Cliff Hanger must share the seat.

The Too Cool To Sit Next to You

This type insists on standing even if there are spare seats. Will immediately sit down if they have a whole seat to themselves. Is capable of providing others the same level of satisfaction as a Cliff Hanger when another person sits next to them.

The Toucher

Often has a newspaper, or other accessory that they like to rest on the head,  lap, arm or shoulder of others.

The Spreader

This type will spread themselves out, usually to discourage others to sit next to them. Some Spreaders are yet to realise they are this type, and only go as far as spreading their coat out on the seat causing awkwardness when someone sits on it.

The Tin Ears

Often heard before seen. Characteristic loud tinny beats coming from around the ear regions are an obvious mating call to other Tin Ears. Easily repels non-Tin Ears.

The Megaphone

Seems to have poor hearing and must raise their voice during communication. Commonly seen with a cellphone. Unfortunately, this type often has nothing interesting to listen to.

The Squisher

This is usually the largest of the types. Has a high level of optimism when trying to share seats with others.

The Hobbitses

The smallest of the types. Has trouble holding onto overhead railing, and drivers can’t see them exiting, but can easily squeeze past others. Often taken advantage of by Touchers and Squishers.

Tags: public transport

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