Conversations with my kids from 2014

I love talking with my kids. They say the craziest things, and I think the preschool years are just awesome. I apologise in advance for their toilet humour – it’s mostly unintentional.

Cameron's faces

Me: I love you to the stars and back.
Cameron: I love you to the moon.
Me and Daddy: Aww.
Cameron: And then the sun. And then mummy gets burnt.

Abby: I’m going to keep my farts in for a whole week.
(She gave up on that goal quite quickly, and repeatedly.)

Cameron: I’m the [music] inductor!

Abby: I had two pretzel sticks, and one magically went under my bum. Then Cameron ate it.

Abby: Cameron dropped the pizza.
Cameron: It didn’t fall out.
Abby: It’s broken, but lucky it’s not floor pizza.

Abby: Cameron has short arms like a T-Rex.

Cameron: I want to choose my own undies. This one. It has no poos on it.

Abby on the phone with her dad: What did you have for lunch? … What did you do today? … Did you do any farties?

My kids singing the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs song, that eventually morphs into “My ho! My ho! It’s off to work we go!”

Abby: Why do those men have roses? (on their shirts)
Me: So people know they’re part of the wedding.
Abby: Oh, yeah. If they didn’t have roses, people will think they’re going to work.

Abby: I want beans and toast for dinner, because that’s like the story at preschool.
Daddy: Oh? What’s the story called?
Abby: Beans and toast.
Daddy: Haha. Well, what’s it about?
Abby: Beans and toast.

Abby chooses a shirt with a pug on it. “It has a dog that looks like a cow! Hehehe.”

Cameron (as Darth Vader): I am a father.

Darth Marrow

Me: Too bad my pizza’s soggy.
Cameron: Aw, that’s ok.
Me: I like your attitude!
Abby: Your attitude is yummy… What’s ‘attitude’?

Daddy: I told you not to do that. How many times do I have to tell you??
Cameron: One.

Me: Good night Abby.
Abby: Good night mum. Stay alive.

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