Conversations with my kids from 2013

Abby's T Rex drawing

Some more insightful words from my kids, because they have so much to say. So, so, too much to say.

Abby: Daddy is a working man. Mummy is a working girl.

Abby: Happy Father’s Day daddy!
Cameron: Happy Birthday!
Me: It’s “Happy Father’s Day”.
Cameron: HO HO HO! Father Christmas?

Abby: I have a vajama. And Cameron has a pee pee.
Cameron: I have a vajama!

Me: What rhymes with frog?
Cameron: Log!
Me: What else? (Pointing to Fez)
Cameron: Uhhh, Fez!
Me: No.. What is Fez?
Cameron: Pet!

Abby (talking to me): You’re the best person in the world. Except Jane [a teacher] – but she’s in a different school now.
Cameron (looks at me): I’m so proud of you!

Looking at a picture of chocolate cake, Abby goes “Oh, I’d like to get my face dirty on that!”

Cameron: Shhhh, Abby. Shhh.
Abby: It’s not a library! We can be loud at home!

Abby: If birds didn’t have wings, they would drown in the sea.
Me: Um…yes… but some birds can float, like ducks, and sea gulls…
Cameron: … and swimming robots! And they say “I – am – a – swimming – robot!”

Cameron: What’s that?
Me: A razor.
Cameron: For razing your legs?
Me: Yes, for razing my legs.
(Kids have better logic than English.)

Macaroni with pesto, grilled courgette and spring onion

Abby (in the loo): Daddy! Come and smell what’s in the toilet.
Neil: Uh, I don’t really want to.
Abby: Aaaah. It smells like macaroni!

Abby wakes me up early and asks “Can I play on the ipad until you wake up?”.

Abby: When I grow up, I want to be a firewoman, and a builder, and an artist…
After a little while, Cameron pipes up: I’m going to be a burper! Baaarrrrrp!

Abby, on the toilet: Mummy, can you sing Happy Birthday to my poo?
Me: Really… Do I have to?
Abby: Yes. You have to sing “Happy Birthday dear poo…”
Me: (Groan, then sings the damn song). Have you finished Abby?
Abby, does more: I’m doing more… Oh, it’s a big boy! And his brother.

Abby: Mum, did you know that there were dinosaurs – before old people were born.

Abby: I had a dream about you mummy. You were in a cave. With a lion. Then the lion gobbled you up. It was a great dream.

Abby: It’s a sunrise!
Me: It’s a sunset – sunrise means the sun is coming up, and sunset means the sun is going to bed.
Abby: Does it have a shower?
Me: No it doesn’t need a shower. It doesn’t get dirty.
Abby: Why?
Me: Because it’s a star – a big hot star.
Abby: Yeah… it needs sunscreen.
Staring at cows.

Poor Cameron has a cough. Abby told me he got an iceblock at daycare. I asked if she got one too. She said “No, you only get it when you’re sick. You have to have a turtle in your mouth.”

Abby: You’re a silly lion mummy.
Me: You mean a silly goose? If someone is silly, they’re a silly goose.
Abby: Yeah. And if someone is naughty, they’re a silly cow.

Abby (hugging Cameron): I want Cameron to have enough hugs… That’s enough hugs Cameron! (and pushes him away)

Cameron: I want a treat!
Me: You have a treat. It’s a malt biscuit.
Cameron: Milk?
Me: No – malt.
Cameron: Malk?
Me: No – mallltttt. Malt biscuit.
Cameron: Mo-tor-bike?

Abby (while eating the last of her gingerbread man): Look, only one toe left. It’s a sad toe.
Me: Why’s it sad?
Abby: It’s sad because all the other toes are inside me.
*om nom nom*

Abby: What’s that daddy?
Neil: It’s a car that has beds in it so you can drive around and sleep where ever you want.
Abby: It’s a campervan.

Abby (in a grump): Mummy, you have to leave the house. You have to go to jail because you’re naughty! And daddy will come and eat your dinner. And drink your drunk (her words, not mine).
- All that because I was trying to make her eat dinner and she wanted snacks.

Abby’s been telling me it’s her birthday. Suddenly she randomly makes grunting noises.
Abby: Oh! That means I need to go poos. I’m going toilet. The party’s going to start!

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