Eggshell Green

Dear Diary

Today was the Ditzy Dumb Ass’s birthday.

There was a “surprise” morning tea invitation sent out earlier which I declined in protest because of the belittling treatment of her staff, and because Ditzy Dumb Ass is so damn stupid but still wants to make the final call on everything. Yes, you can make images links on websites, why do you ask? Oh that’s right, you’re stupid! But that’s ok, you’re a manager and can make all the decisions without knowing anything about anything.

Anyway, without the event in my calendar, I forgot all about the morning tea. At 10:30am I smelt something like pies, which made me want the microwave mince pie that I had brought in to work. The kitchen was abuzz with people setting up the morning tea, reminding me about her birthday. One fellow coworker said I should turn up to make her feel loved, seeing as she’s my best friend and all. I love her sarcasm!

I decided that I would wait until all the fake well-wishes and “Oh I’m so surprised” bollocks was out of the way, before dropping by to feed my hunger.

I will eat her birthday cake but I will not pretend to like her.

I also ate my pie.