Humour
This little piggy did what?
Have you ever sat down and thought about the words of old school fairy tales and nursery rhymes? When you do, a lot of questions are raised.
Like the This Little Piggy ryhme:
This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had roast beef
This little piggy had none
And this little piggy went “wee wee wee” all the way home.
Right, so the first piggy went to market – to be sold as meat or to get groceries?
The second piggy stayed home – ok, so it sounds like they have domestic lives and the first one only went to get vegies. Or is the second piggy being spared for another day…?
The third had roast beef – something about that doesn’t sound right for some reason. Do pigs eat cows? Did the first piggy pick up a roast from the butcher’s on his way to the market last week?
The fourth piggy sounds like he didn’t pay his share of the food bill – or the third piggy was a greedy bastard. Why are piggies eating roast beef again?
And is the fifth piggy being dragged to his home (where assumedly all the other piggies live) or to a human’s home to be slaughtered? Sounds brutal to me.
Also, they obviously couldn’t think of another word to rhyme with “home” as they had already used it in the second line.
Alas, we will still teach our children this rhyme – I know I will :)
No Kitchen Gnome
It still surprises me how many people still don’t clean up after themselves at work – you know who you are…
There is a diswasher – put your dishes in it. It’s only a few centimetres from the bench top so don’t give me the excuse that you’re busy and in a hurry, just put them in there. I don’t care if you’re a senior manager – use your mouth if you don’t have opposable thumbs.
Clean the chunks off your bowl/plate. The dishwasher can only do so much, and scraping off dried porridge it does not do. Rissotto with lots of parmesan may be tasty but the left overs sitting there all afternoon is not appetising.
If you spill it, clean it up. If you use it, put it away. Cupboard doors aren’t too hard to close either.
And there always seems to be a person opening up a new bottle of milk instead of using the last of the current bottle – recycling phobia?
There is no company maid. Your mum doesn’t work with you, not that she should do clean up for you anyway. There is no mystical kitchen gnome that goes around magically cleaning up your mess.
And no, I’m not said gnome but thanks for asking.
(By the way, I forgot to mention when I first posted this that the underwear thing is from the South Park episode where they had Underpants Gnomes.)
Kitchen Gnome wishes he was stealing underwear
Laugh of the day: Beavering on
Ok, so it may be immature and crass, but a conversation between a certain manager and another staff member made me laugh (on the inside because the people were right next to me).
Lady Manager: “How’s things going? Haven’t heard any screaming lately.”
Lady Minion: “There’s been some. I’m just beavering on.”
Lady Manager: “Oh good. I like beavering.”
Not sure why this is so funny? Check out the beaver ad on YouTube, turn “beaver” into a verb and add a bit of immaturity.
A Gift for a Queen
I saw this apron in the window of a gift shop.
Queen of doing what now!?
The display was for Mother’s Day and I can see what the intention was (because mum’s are awesome, well, most of the time).
However I’m not sure the display people saw the double meaning of the message at the time. They’ve since replaced it with another apron without any words on it. Aw, boring.
The Foolery Four #14
Hippy Ninja finally gets the laser cutter up and running, just in time for Vietnamese Puta's growing appetite...
The Foolery Four #13
Water Balloon in a G-string bites off more than he can devour
Previously on Eggshell Green
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